I'm back, Sarawak.

Assalamualaikum. 

Its 13rd of February. The day I will return to Bumi Kenyalang for my studies.
I can't wait.
Yes, You read it right. I am excited to be back to Sarawak. I am not embarrassed by it.
I love being at Sarawak but it is also sad. I don't want to leave my family.
I guess this is what students feel when they have to be away from their parents. 

No more "mommy can I have your special Laksa tomorrow?" 

No more "dad can you help me open this can?"

No more "Sis, can you tell me how to edit this picture?"

No more "sis, which part of that horror game are you at?"

No more teasing, no more all three of us sisters cooped up in that stuffy hot room screaming at TV screen while playing game. 

It is painful but I need to leave.
I leave home around 12pm in the noon and arrived there around one something. My flight it as 3.25pm and check in at 2.45pm.
Still plenty of time to go. So my family and I went to the Merrybrown to eat our last lunch together. /damn that sounds sad/

The meal costs us well 75MYR. well, damn son.
That was costly. 

I brought my sister ice creams as my last treat for them then I went to the boarding area.
Yes, yes, I look fine but it is sad. I didnt talk much when 2 days before I return to Sarawak.
Then my flight was delayed for well 10 minutes, you are forgiven, Air Asia. Hehe
But the ride is the most bumpy ride I ever been in a plane. I get sick in the first 5 minutes and force myself to sleep.

I arrived at Kuching Airport around 5pm something.
I did expecting Stanley and Shiro to be there but of course it is them and I ended up waiting until six.
We meet and truth to be told, I felt like I havent seen them in ages.
Shiro is with his new hairstyle. I like it but I love the old one better. /you will never be my Virus or Trap ==/
Stanley seems to have lose some weight and I heard he's going to the gym. /w0w/
but both of them still as goofy as crazy as I remember which makes me happy.
We went to McDonald and play a few rounds of Vanguard there. I got beaten badly by Shiro new Aqua Force that have 16 bloody stand trigger. /dafuq, bro?/
As if beating the old one is not hard enough.
He treat me to burger which I must stay, take 10 seconds for my brain to process. hahaha im so sorry but thats the truth.
We meet and talk for a few hours as I starting to get dizzy from the flight.
We then /of course, Stanley is driving/ went to Matang. We ended up losing ways here and there but I enjoyed myself. It might sounds silly but the time us three spend together in that car is one of the moments I enjoyed in my simple life.
We reach my roommate (Aina)'s friend house near 10pm and even then I am brimming with happiness.
Im truly glad I meet them :)
This is like my form three life but as adult teenager.
I sincerely wish the tragedy at that time won't repeat itself.
Please let me be happy this time.
With that in mind..
I am back. Sarawak.

p/s: i do feel happy but this feeling of impending doom never stop. 

Assalamualaikum.
So this post won’t be like those normal daily posts of what going on in my life for a day.
warning: EMO post ahead.
So today I was feeling bitter, stressed and even restless. Cut that, I have been feeling like this since last night. The thing is I think I have said something wrong and she is clearly pissed at me.
I am aware of that. If she’s not pissed then maybe annoyed or irritated. Overall bad emotions.

AND I KNOW IT.

I even asked her but of course she said no  I am fine. No. Its cool.
I didn’t mean to be some nosy prick but dude, I can see that you are upset and its upsetting me! I keep asking and asking and asking and I always got the same answer.
its frustrating and she knows it.
I give you an example, You know your friend is dying from a disease and only she knows the cure to it. You as a friend, wants to help her. Want to be a use of her but she REFUSE to share it with you.
How do you feel? You want to save her life but she wouldn’t tell how.
That is how I have been feeling.

She called, she wants me to talk and yes, I talk, I tell some random shits, some updates of my life and what I heard back from her is like the tip of the iceberg. 
Its like how Haki feels for Saki. 
Its upsetting me, I feel like I want to cry but I can’t (because I’m at student pavilion right now.) 
no..that is one of the reason..I can’t cry because I want to be strong for her. 
I was talking and she is doing her work. What would she feel if I do that to her? I don’t want to come clean, it will turn into a cold war like right now. 
I understand that she is busy and I am not forcing her to do anything. If you can’t text or call, just tell me. Rather than me feeling like I am talking to the phone all by myself. 
Even sometimes in text aside from rp, I hardly get any long reply. 
I know she is action speaks louder than words but right now, I am at Sarawak. I can’t see your actions…can’t you at least show me that you still care?
And if she ever read this post, she will be upset again but hey, I am all alone at this land and I got no one to talk to. I don’t have my sister with me and the one I am close with is currently on a cold war with me. 
Do you know how I feel? No you don’t.
You will never understand. 
You’d be a liar if you say yes.
Kuro signing off. 

p/s: ……

Assalamualaikum.
Second day of life at University. We started with nothing that morning. Just being a lazy ass and worrying about how rain makes out clothes stays wet.
Yesterday which I forgot to mention, I actually have a man to man combat with my cupboard (that would be a man to ..cupboard isn't it?)

I went into my room only to find that my cupboard was busted and the door can't even open or close properly. Stupid thing. So being the I-don't-want-to-go-down student I tried fixing it myself.

and I worked fine after I fixed it. Using via hand, hammer is a mere illusion.
By the evening I take a bath and walks out with my over the top spiky and wet, messy hair. two of my apartment mates? (damn their title keeps changing) also walks out from their room and surprised to see me.

I don't know that they are really startled or they just think I'm a dude at the wrong house. But they smiled as soon as I opened my mouth.
Well, onto today's journal. After a day of doing nothingness, 2 times electricity being cut off, we get down (I had a cup of free Vico, bring back memories of primary school)and we got assembled.
We are then divided into groups and I ended up on Group Nine.
(Nine tailed fox..jk)

I get to know this Miri girl, Marilyn. Damn beautiful (does everyone from Sarawak beautiful?)
We get to do ice breaking session after a rushed dinner. We started with introduction, cliche I know. But the Liason Officer (LO) wants trademark along. Damn it. I got no choice in that short time thus I come out with "Got that memorized?" Which I clearly stolen from Kingdom Hearts game. (go check the game out. AMAAAZING.)
All of my credits to Axel. We then continue onto stupid but fun games and the LO said he wanted to teach us a clap. I was betting some lame-ass clap when he said "PENGUIN clap" Being the one with Penguin nickname I felt jittery which is weird. LOL
We do it anyways and I would have drawn it I swear, if I have time.
We finished everything around 10.40pm something. I stayed back to sign up my name for Malay debate. I don't even know why I do that stupid thing but I did it. Oh well, too late to back down so lets just get it ON. Just gotta give it my best now.
Kuro signing off for today.

P/s: my housemates/apartment mates/roommates..whatever you called it..I got to know three of them. The one in the same room with me is Aina from Kedah. Open minded girl. I have fun. The two others is Manda and Scott from Sarawak. Yes, I was surprised with Scott's name too but she is beauuutiful.